Monday, December 27, 2010


Living on the south side of the Mason-Dixon Line has many advantages and a major one is the lack of  that icy white stuff that floats down from the heavens and causes so much trouble.  Snow is so beautiful and at the same time, oh, so dangerous.  I've known some women like that, but I'm not going there.

I grew up in the snow belt of upstate New York.  We had two seasons -- winter and the Fourth of July.  Actually one Independence Day, while visiting back home, my girlfriend and I were golfing in the wonderful little upstate village of Newport and the clouds suddenly gathered,  the temperature plunged and down came the flaky white stuff that's supposed to fall many months later.  However, we all must realize God doesn't watch The Weather Channel.  During that episode, my girlfriend, who was from Alabama where I too lived, decided if we were ever to have a future together, it wouldn't be spent in upstate NY.  Truthfully I'm positive that was one of many factors that contributed to her decision to definitely not having a future with me...there or anyplace else.  Meeting some of my old buddies from my hometown was another.

I did marry a southern belle from North Carolina and one winter we visited my hometown to celebrate Christmas.  That year happened to be a particularly hard winter and by March, 24 feet (snow, that is) had fallen on the Mohawk Valley.  The snowplows were kept constantly busy and the snowbanks grew to heights challenging the surrounding hills.  My wife, now deceased, stood about 5 feet 4 inches.  Walking through towering 30-foot snowbanks caused her onset of claustrophobia.  She made me promise if she died and was interred in my family's area of the local cemetery, I'd put two pair of socks on her feet.  She hated cold feet. 

Since graduating college and moving away, I've resided in the so called "sunny South."  I've lived in Florida, Georgia, Alabama, Tennessee, South Carolina, North Carolina and Delaware.  One may wonder why all the moves.  The answer is simple; I had to stay one step ahead of John Law.  Not really, but that's my story and I'm stickin' to it.  But the point is I thought I escaped that frigid weather and all its accoutrements.

But here I sit in Delaware (a southern state) only 3 miles from the ocean and sandy beaches...SNOWED IN!  There is something dreadfully wrong with this scenario.  We have almost 20 inches of that treacherous white stuff piling up in our driveway.  Our front door is blocked by about a 4-foot accumulation because the wind has blown additional snow from the roof.  We just paid for some guys with shovels to clear a path to my ramp van though I'm not sure the ramp will even deploy.  My heart tells me the ramp isn't used to this oddball cold junk and when it first touches it, will close back up in pure disgust.  I'm getting cabin fever already and Gal Friday is upset because I'm doing wheelies and my chariot's tires are leaving black scuff marks on the floor.

What a dilemma.  I should move to a tropical zone like south Florida, but then I'd miss the change of seasons.  Mother said there would be days like this, but I didn't listen.

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