Sunday, June 26, 2011

Lazy Summer Days

Those crazy, lazy, hazy days of summer have settled in like a fog over the wetlands.  After traversing the lumber on the boardwalk, Gal Friday discovered a new walkway to the beach.  The village has laid down a blue-colored plastic carpet which allows wheelchairs to actually gain entrance to the sunny sands.  I can maneuver my chariot down this ramp and sit at its edge and observe the beauty of the ocean.  More importantly, I am able to observe the lithe, tanned, nubile bodies of the female sun worshipers.

With my chair in the reclining mode, I bask in the sun watching people.  The beach is becoming more occupied now and the crowds are from all points on this earth.  I hear many different languages spoken, at least I think they're not the same.  Some sound more melodic while others are more guttural, so I assume they're different.  But my first visual reaction to the passing parade is, "Wow, people are getting really fat."

Please understand, this is not a criticism, just an observation.  I look like a stick with a basketball glued on about halfway down, so I have no room to render unmerited judgments.  And I will not don a bathing suit because I don't want to offend others.

But the fact that the general public is gaining a little too much weight is overwhelming.  Many of these sunbathers should consider doing so in more clothing.  I don't think a five-foot-four, two hundred pound woman in a string bikini is too flattering.  Nor does the five-foot-eight, two hundred and fifty pound guy with a little more bathing suit covering his body look too appealing.  I've noticed even younger males are neglecting to lose their baby fat.  Is all this obesity a byproduct of our life style?

In fact, seeing the supple bathing beauties I referred to is getting rather rare these days.  After factoring out the male gender, children, fat women, and grandmothers, very few people remain on the beach.  Because my eyesight is not up to par, I ask Gal Friday to watch and poke me when a young, good looking girl hits my range of vision.  I don't have any black and blue marks from her poking.

I also noticed the guys are wearing longer bathing gear, while the female outfits are getting skimpier.  Is this a figment of my imagination?  At one time I would have applauded this transformation, but now I'm not so sure.  Maybe we should take serious note of what the medical community is telling us--slim down.

What about exercise?  The exercise industry is booming.  Everyone's going to a gym or spa.  Even the retirement communities sport glorious rooms full of costly exercise machinery.  Where are all these chisled bodies?  Why don't they come to the beach?  How about giving an old curmudgeon like me a break?

I used to exercise in the old days.  Jeez, I sound like my grandfather..."in the old days."  At various points in my life I lifted weights, swam, ran, walked, etc.  However, my favorite form of exercise was golf.  It was oh, so healthy--climbing in and out of the golf cart, hoisting those cold barley soup cans, swinging so many times at the ball.  Why I'd get so tired, I'd have to go to the nineteenth hole to relax at the bar and have a cool beverage to gain composure for my drive home.

Well, I'm looking forward to tomorrow.  Gal Friday said we're going to the beach.  I remain hopeful.

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